Unordered List

Wednesday 26 June 2013

Behind the quest to build a full-scale Millennium Falcon.

[I don't usually crosspost my other writing to this blog, but this interview was too interesting not to share.]
Behind the quest to build a full-scale Millennium Falcon.
Here’s one to cheer up your inner 8-year-old: In the next few years, you may be able to visit a real-life Millennium Falcon.

Since 2005, Chris Lee’s Full Scale Falcon project has been one of those Internet curiosities that seems so epically ambitious that you can’t quite believe it’s actually real. Well, it is. All 114 feet of it, currently waiting to be assembled in a field just outside of Nashville, Tenn.

Although when we say “a field”, what we actually mean is, “This guy bought 88 acres of land for the express purpose of building a full-scale replica of the most iconic ship in Star Wars.” [READ MORE]

Tuesday 25 June 2013

Teen Wolf: "Unleashed".

Previously on Teen Wolf: "Fireflies".

This was a great episode for Teen Realism. First, we open with a 27-year-old high school senior wandering down a dark alley --  always a good idea in Beacon Hills. The positive outcome of his brutal murder is that we now know the druidic serial killer is small enough to hide under a dumpster. I'm thinking were-puppy? Later, we move on to a truly beautiful combination of actual Teen Realism (ie, the sense of complete impotence one feels when teachers and adults have complete control over your life), and high school scenes written from the perspective of someone who may not have ever been in an actual real-life high school.
Yes, Murder Suspect Derek Hale was wandering around on school property again. Yes, someone was able to drive a motorcycle through the hallway during school hours without anyone noticing. Yes, two guys ripped off their shirts and turned into a 7-foot-tall Alpha Twin Megazord at like 5pm on a school day -- leaving their shirts and schoolbags behind when they left. No, nobody bothered to keep the crowd of kids away from the corpse on the running track until the Sheriff showed up, an absolute minimum of fifteen minutes later. Shhhhh. As always: Just go with it.

Tuesday 18 June 2013

Teen Wolf: "Fireflies".

Previously on Teen Wolf: Chaos Rising.

This episode was mostly about people running around and doing unnecessary backflips, but was still highly enjoyable because Morgan Leigh and I were briefly in the same country, meaning I got to watch it with her! True Internet Friendship is when you're happy to meet someone from Twitter at the house of a complete stranger in order to watch a show about teen werewolves at 9.30am on a Tuesday.
Anyhow, in lieu of a "real" "review", you're going to get an itemized list of all the things that were super-awesome about this week's Teen Wolf. Because let's face it: at least 50% of this episode was slow-motion shots of people snarling at each through pointy dentures. (The other 50% was Isaac Lahey's snood.)

Sunday 16 June 2013

Man-Child of Steel.

This isn't gonna be a review so much as a written depiction of my gradual descent into a nervous breakdown while watching Man of Steel -- an experience I shared with the two five-year-olds sitting in the row in front of me. Definitely introduce your children to Superman via this movie, because it contains all sorts of child-friendly features! Such as a childbirth scene, Superman snapping a dude's neck in the middle of the vaporized ruins of Metropolis, and a complete lack of humour or a sense of fun. (HAHAHA NO SPOILERS THOUGH LOL no.)
Everyone spends the entire time stating the obvious. I'm not joking. 80% of the dialogue in this movie is like a masterclass in how to break the first law of writing: "Show, Don't Tell". Before anyone does anything, they tell everyone what they're about to do. And once they've done it, someone else explains what just happened. Sample scene:
"I'm very strong, and have no morals!" growled Zod. "I don't care about anything except Krypton!"

"But I will stop you," Superman replied. "Because I grew up on Earth. I'm going to defeat you!"

Superman punched Zod. Zod punched Superman. "Oh my god!" screamed a nameless extra. "They just punched each other! They are both aliens!" 
"I hate both of them," said another extra. "Because aliens are a new and confusing thing, and we humans are afraid of things we don't understand."
Then a building fell and crushed all the extras, killing them and everyone they knew. Sadly, Superman did not know or care about this, because he was busy listening to someone explain why Zod was a very dangerous man who needed to be stopped.

Tuesday 11 June 2013

Teen Wolf: Chaos Rising.

Previously on Teen Wolf: Tattoo.

Character 1: I just had a really terrible idea.
Character 2: Great! Let's do it!
-- Teen Wolf
On the bright side, this episode showed us that most of Teen Wolf's main characters are learning from past mistakes. I say "bright side" because as always, everything in Beacon Hills is terrible.
The main thing Allison has learned is how to be genre-savvy about living in a horror movie. Like for example, if the bruise on your arm looks like a mysterious symbol? Chances are it's a mysterious symbol. Lydia is doubtful, but that's mainly because she's a very rational person, and isn't used to the kind of gut feelings that Allison, Stiles and Scott have honed after two seasons of exposure to weird supernatural bullshit. Too bad Derek doesn't listen to Allison -- he's the one character who NEVER LEARNS, both in this episode and in general. Which is probably because he's a 50/50 split between "traumatised teenage boy" and "30-year-old hardened criminal": he never got a chance to, you know, learn how to think things through and make sensible decisions like a real adult. More on that later.

Tuesday 4 June 2013

Teen Wolf: Tattoo.

Previously: Teen Wolf 101: An introduction to the eighth wonder of our world.

Welcome to Teen Wolf! The show where the shirts are off, and the pants don't matter. Last year's season finale saw about 9000 things happen, including one character stripping naked and turning into a lizard, and Evil Grandpa Argent roaring "MOUNTAIN ASSHHHH!!" in one of the most magnificent line-deliveries in TV history. What a masterpiece. (Teen Wolf showrunner recently described this episode as a "clusterfuck", but let's not dwell on the past.) I could recap all that stuff for you, but it'd require too much googling, so let's just watch that MOUNTAIN ASHHH clip again, shall we? OK. You're ready.
Season 3 opens with a subject close to all our hearts: curly-haired cuteboy waif Isaac clutching onto someone dear life. This time round, it's a badass lady with a motorcycle and a dubiously plausible lightning taser gun. "Into every generation, a slayer is born," she explains, back-flipping off a burning building onto her motorcycle. "She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness." OK, I kid, but seriously. She's awesome. Plus, she shares a gloriously ridiculous new plot point: Some alphas can steal your memories just by touching you, because what Teen Wolf really needs is a magical amnesia subplot. But apparently that isn't enough, because she immediately moves on to introduce the latest male models to join Teen Wolf's cast of top-tier ab-actors (abtors?). These guys were cast via an open call from (I kid you not), and they rip their shirts off within five minutes of appearing onscreen.