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Saturday, 21 July 2012

Teen Wolf 101: An introduction to the eighth wonder of our world.

Anyone who follows me on Tumblr will know that the past month of my life has been a rapid downward spiral into Teen Wolf obsession. Circa June 2012, I was still innocent of the wonders of Teen Wolf; completely unaware that it is the Shakespeare of our era/Twilight for people who enjoy emotions that make sense/set in a beautiful alternate universe where homophobia doesn't exist. My life was empty and barren, a tragic wasteland wherein I laboured under the assumption that Teen Wolf was a mediocre MTV show populated by a cast of bad actors with great hair. The real honest true truth is that every actor in Teen Wolf has brilliant comic timing (in addition to, yes, great hair), and one of the main characters is played by a guy who, despite having zero previous acting experience, is so talented his that his very presence onscreen is like an icecream scoop directly out of my heart. One day he will be showered with Oscars and Emmys and adoring fanmail from around the world, but in the meantime he'll have to make do with people like me reblogging 40,000 gifs of his face every day. This actor is Dylan O'Brien. He plays Stiles.
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If you watch Teen Wolf, you love Stiles. If you don't watch Teen Wolf, you are merely living through a brief period of confusion prior to the inevitability of falling in love with Stiles.
An accurate illustration of Teen Wolf fans & their attitude towards Stiles. (source)
I won't even attempt to write about the events of Teen Wolf in their entirety, partly because it's impossible to summarise a show that amounts to the distilled essence of perfection, and partly because that would take about 50,000 words. Because I'm a really good-hearted person, though, I will provide a brief 10-point guide to the defining points of Teen Wolf as it stands as the cultural touchstone of my generation.

(N.B. This post contains no direct spoilers for recent eps but since I'm writing it midway through season 2, you can assume that it's not suitable for people who are intensely invested in the idea of watching the series ~completely pure~. I've posted links to sources for all gifs, but if you made one of them and would prefer different crediting or for me to remove it from this page, just comment.) 

1. Scott McCall, the main character, is a moron. Bitten by a werewolf in episode 1, he proceeds to get into trouble and stupidly ignore Stiles' advice on a regular basis. He is played by Tyler Posey who, when asked about Scott's "black and white" attitude to loyalty, replied, "Scott's Mexican, I think." There is no such thing as a non-awesome interview with a member of the Teen Wolf cast.
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In real life, Tyler Posey and Dylan O'Brien live together. If you want to see a video of Tyler Posey answering fan questions while Dylan O'Brien cooks dinner and lays the table in the background, then this is your lucky day because that is a thing that exists in real life.

2. Stiles is beautiful like a timelapse video of a blossoming flower, and is the best mother any young wolf could possibly hope for.
A painting. (copyright rubdown.) (source)
Stiles is the emotional heart of the show. His mother died a few years ago, and now he lives with his father, the sheriff. Stiles' relationship with his father is a source of unending delight because they're so funny together (Stiles is Veronica Mars!!) but occasionally super upsetting as well because Stiles is the only person in the show who has a mature, functioning relationship with a parent but still has to lie to his dad almost every day. The worst thing is that since Stiles' dad is the sheriff, he knows that Stiles is involved in something dangerous but can't work out what it is because "werewolf gang-war" is kind of hard to deduce from the information given. 
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Aside from "every single moment of Teen Wolf", the best moments in this show are the moments when Dylan O'Brien is onscreen, doing anything whatsoever. His face is a painting and his comic timing is perfect and his pratfall abilities are on a par with Hugh Laurie's. The thing about Stiles is that you first get sucked in by Dylan O'Brien's dorky charm and ability to fling his whole body into his comedy scenes, but after a few episodes you begin to realise that not only is he the best actor in the cast, Stiles is basically the most lovable character ever. Stiles is the planner, the strategic thinker, the researcher.... basically, he's the Hermione Granger of the show. He's the Hermione and the Willow Rosenberg and the Giles.

3. Derek Hale is a lonesome werewolf whose main hobbies are shirtlessness and being sad because his family were viciously murdered by an anti-werewolf racist "hunter". He has a lot of emotions but sometimes they take a long time to float to the surface via the murky depths of his damaged psyche because he is so deep and dark like a well full of sadness and anger and abdominal muscles. (This is the reason why there are some episodes where he doesn't have any facial expressions.) Derek Hale is a CGI creation who was originally designed for videogame cut scenes but was deemed too distracting because he's so attractive.
from the Teen Wolf tumblr.
This is the one gif in existence wherein Derek Hale smiles. This is the complete opposite of the actor who plays him, Tyler Hoechlin, who smiles all the time and is an adorable furball who records adorable Teen Wolf adverts with Dylan O'Brien:
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4. The Argents are a family of werewolf hunters, headed up by the intensely terrifying Gerard Argent, who is played by Saul Tigh from Battlestar Galactica. Allison Argent is our primary view into the family, a fresh-faced teenager (played by an extremely fresh-faced 27-year-old) who, at the beginning of the series, has no idea that her family are professional werewolf hunters. Because Teen Wolf is fraught with fraughtness, Allison is in a relationship with werewolf Scott McCall. It's all terribly Romeo & Juliet.

Allison's parents are Victoria and Chris Argent. Victoria Argent is the polar opposite of Stiles because she's the worst mother of all time + a werewolf racist + hates everyone. She looks like a cross between Cruella DeVille and a velociraptor, and her greatest wish is to put Scott into a meat-grinder. Chris Argent is marginally less unhinged and is possibly being set up for some kind of role-reversal because unlike his father, wife, or sister Kate Argent (who is extra unhinged and thinks torturing people is fun), he follows a hunter code that only allows him to kill werewolves who are a) adults, and b) murderers. Important Teen Wolf factoid: According to Tyler Posey, the actor who plays Chris Argent has extremely soft facial hair that he, Tyler, enjoys to touch and stroke. Remember what I said about there being no such thing as a non-awesome Teen Wolf cast interview? Yes.
from the Teen Wolf tumblr.
5. Lydia is a lady and a genius and a role-model, but her life is a continuous river of tears and awfulness because she's preyed upon by the Tom Riddle of undead evil werewolves, plus none of her friends have explained to her what's going on re: the existence of Actual Real-Life Werewolves. She's the "popular girl" and Stiles is tragically infatuated with her because in addition to being stunningly beautiful, she's a math and science genius. Every instant of Stiles hopelessly crushing on Lydia is a moment that stabs an icicle directly into my heart and sends tiny ice-particles through my veins to travel around my body and eventually turn me into Mr Freeze.
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6. Jackson is the last of the primary teenager-aged main characters (although he is played by a 24-year-old), and is the Draco Malfoy to Scott's Harry Potter because he's rich, malicious, and obsessed with being better than Scott at quidditch lacrosse. Aside from the fact that he looks exactly like an Abercrombie & Fitch model, Jackson is a black hole when it comes to redeeming features. He is a rage-douche and a lizard, and unlike with Lydia almost everything bad that happens to him is 100% due to his own hubris. He desperately wanted to become a werewolf so he could be better at lacrosse (Everyone in Teen Wolf is obsessed with lacrosse. Don't question it.) but instead of becoming a werewolf he began to grow an Evil Manicure that drips paralytic poison and led to his eventual Pokemon evolution of transforming into a giant lizard.
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In season 1, Jackson had three settings: Shirtless, Ragedouche, and Being A Dick. In season 2 a fourth category was added: Lizard. His favourite things are ruining Scott's life and playing lacrosse by himself at night because he's angry about how hard it is to be a super-hot millionaire teenager who is only co-captain of the lacrosse team instead of just captain. He's played by Colton Haynes, who is second only to Holland Roden (Lydia) for most ridiculous Hollywood stagename in the Teen Wolf cast roster of ridiculous Hollywood stagenames. Colton Haynes was almost cast as Edward Cullen in the Twilight movies (just as Tyler Posey was almost cast as Jacob Black; Teen Wolf is full of Twilight rejects), but was thrown over for Robert Pattinson, possibly because when you google him you find pictures of him making out with other dudes. He is a sassy Ken Doll and likes to take ridiculous photos with Holland Roden and cries when he listens to Adele.
from the Teen Wolf tumblr.
7. Aside from his near-supernatural ability to be unintentionally hilarious while shouting at people, the best thing about Jackson is his best friend Danny. Danny is sensible and wry and generally delightful, as well as being the least convincing teenager in the entire show. He's also the only character whose life isn't an unending series of disasters and melodrama, because he purposefully remains ignorant of the whole werewolves/murder/peril thing about which Stiles, Scott, Allison and Jackson are so obsessed.
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Danny isn't really a main character but his role is representative of one of my favourite aspects of Teen Wolf: the showrunners' attitude towards the inclusion of LGBT characters. LGBT people are ridiculously unrepresented on TV, and although we're now getting past the point where all such characters are stereotypes, most of their storylines still centre around "issues" episodes and/or LGBT themed storylines like coming out or dealing with homophobia. But Teen Wolf? Exists in an alternate universe where homophobia has pretty much been eradicated. Really the only problem I have with Teen Wolf in this regard is that I'd like there to be a couple more female characters next season.

Teen Wolf is the only show I have ever seen that contains "gay jokes" that don't revolve around gay panic and/or internalised homophobia. The sports coach -- stereotypically one of the last bastions of 1950s-style homophobia and masculinit -- tries to fix Scott up with a guy in one of the several scenes that strongly imply that characters in the Teen Wolf universe don't expect each other to be "straight until proven otherwise" but are open-minded to a degree that rarely exists in real life. With regards to the treatment of gay characters, Teen Wolf seems to me like a new breed of TV show, the next step on from LGBT themed series like Queer As Folk and shows like Torchwood that contain a lot of queer themes but are still riddled with "issues episodes" and homophobia-based conflict. Obviously this wouldn't work for every show, but for a lighthearted comedy-drama show like Teen Wolf it's ideal.
gif from the Teen Wolf tumblr.
8. The wolf pack. Isaac, Boyd and Erica only show up in season 2, so this section is slightly more spoilery than the rest of the post. Derek bites them because he wants a pack of his own to help fight the growing numbers of hunters coming to town, which turns out to be a terrible decision because Derek put precisely zero thought into who he should bite. Prior to The Bite, Isaac and Erica are alienated and afraid, but because Derek told them that being a werewolf would make them powerful, The Bite has the placebo effect of making them take on the characteristics of that which they think is most empowering. So Isaac goes from being an awkward, frightened abuse-survivor to being an assholish highschool burnout, and Erica goes from being an antisocial outcast to being a sexxxy vamp who shows up to school wearing a leather bustier and tries to control boys with the power of her cleavage. According to Isaac and Erica, the primary symptoms of becoming a werewolf are to start wearing a lot of black leather all the time, and to act real sassy.
SERIOUSLY. THEY LOOK LIKE THIS.
Derek's pack is a complete fiasco because Derek is too busy brooding to competently teach his kids how to function as werewolves. It turns out that the best way to form a loyal band of followers is not to recruit emotionally damaged teenagers whose main goal in life is to be popular. Who knew? (Stiles, probably.) Derek may look like he was carved out of granite to the specifications of a romance novelist (TYLER HOECHLIN FOR CHRISTIAN GRAY!!) but he's kind of a Zoolander when it comes to leadership skills and forward planning.
Boyd is the third of Derek's puppies, and if there's any justice in the world he'll end up being Derek's second in command. Part of the reason why Isaac and Erica are so terrible at werewolfing is because Derek never gave them a "The strength of the wolf is the pack; The strength of the pack is the wolf," pep-talk, but Boyd is smart enough to infer this for himself. He actually seems to have a survival strategy in place, and exhibits signs of having some common sense. Maybe this is because unlike Isaac and Erica, the implication is that his everyday life requires him to far more independant.

9. Teen Wolf realism. I'm going to be referring to this a lot in future reviews, so here's a basic rundown of how reality works in Teen Wolf. At one end of the scale we have basic worldbuilding facts like the existence of werewolves and the absense of homophobia: totally fine. At the other end we have weird, laughable details that make you go "WTF" because they're so clearly not grounded in reality. For example, this week's episode -- cleverly titled "Raving" -- took place at a warehouse rave, which cost $75 to get into. $75 per ticket, for a warehouse party populated by teenagers? No. If I spent that much money to go to a party then it'd better involve trapeze artists and complimentary class-C drugs at the very least, not just a bunch of people half-heartedly dancing to Teen Wolf's ever-present soundtrack of dramatic dubstep.
A more consistent example of Teen Wolf "realism" would be the mysterious absense of city-wide panic in Beacon Hills. As of season 2, the body count in this town (plus break-ins at the school, and the mysterious "animal attacks" that regularly cause widespread property damage) is worryingly high, yet no one seems to be freaking out about it. Even Sheriff Stilinski doesn't seem as worried as he should be, considering the fact that he shows up at every crime scene and sees his son hanging out at those crime scenes as well. I can only assume that season 3 will bring some outside law-enforcement into the mix to stir up more trouble.

10. The boys' locker room. Hopefully you already have enough reasons to watch this marvel of a show, but if you need any more persuasion and are of the attracted-to-men persuasion, here's a Teen Wolf PSA for you: in addition to the show's disproportionately tiny quantity of shirts vs torsos, a truly stupendous number of scenes take place in the boys' locker room. Scenes in the boys' locker room are the "Why is Dr McCoy on the bridge of the Enterprise??" of Teen Wolf. The boys' locker room is needlessly home to so many dramatic fights and plot-points that it gets its very own rule in the Teen Wolf Drinking Game that my brother and I selflessly invented for the good of humanity.

Viewing guide: If you're still unsure about whether or not to embark upon Teen Wolf, I advise watching episodes 4 and 9 of season 1. With the basic info from this primer you don't really need to watch the first few eps, but skipping directly onto season 2 would mean missing out on too much awesomeness!

80 comments:

  1. This is basically the best post I've ever read. Dylan/Stiles IS like a scoop of ice cream directly into my heart.

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  2. trinityclare21 July 2012 09:20

    typo! you say Gerard Hale instead of Gerard Argent. wrong portentous family name. :D

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  3. trinityclare21 July 2012 09:21

    also I think the jury is still out on how old Crystal Reed is? I got into a fight with someone on tumblr about this the other day. there's a chance imdb is wrong and she's really like 20.

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  4. I AM CRYING WITH JOY I HATE YOU EVERYONE IS JUDGING ME.

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  5. trinityclare21 July 2012 09:30

    okay now that I am done nitpicking (can't help it! sorry!) this review is awesomesauce and I am making everyone I know read it right now.

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  6. Mwahahaha. I'm torn between seal-clapping "I told you so"* and sobbing into my pillow :( :( :(

    why you break my heart, show. (Seriously, absolutely *everyone* started watching this show the second I stopped ;_;)


    *as if, all those tumblr gifs told you so

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  7. Well darn, now I'm gonna have to watch it. Because that was a beautiful, very well written why-Teen-Wolf-is-a-must-see-TV-show post.

    But I'm mad because I was at Comic Con Paris the same day as Tyler Hoechlin, and I wasn't able to see him. But until now I was fine with it because, you know, I didn't watch the show nor was I obsessed whit its cast.
    But I fear that if I start watching Teen Wolf, I will become more and more mad at myself for missing this opportunity.

    As we say in my country, merde alors!

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  8. This is post is glorious. Every single word is like a fresh breath of truth and beauty into my eyeballs, and I just want to roll around in it forever. Teen Wolf is indeed magnificent, and I want everyone to watch so we can all share the joy. ALSO DYLAN O'BRIEN.

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  9. I'm a little sad you don't make a potato peeler joke when talking abt what Mrs. Argent wants to do to Scott but I LAUGHED SOOOOOOO MUCHHHH

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  10. raves really are that expensive :(

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  11. EXCEPTINSECTS21 July 2012 23:40

    What do you mean, a potato? APPARENTLY I AM OLD NOW AND I KNOW NOT THE SLANG OF YOUTH

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  12. i mean he literally has the mental capacity of a potato. IT'S JUST NONSENSE. not slang. my friend foxxcub started calling him a potato and it just caught on.

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  13. why??? i'm totally baffled because for $75, 20 of those kids could've just hired the dj. is this an american thing?? to me, a rave is free or almost free, and in an illegal/ location (ie a warehouse.... like in this very episode...???) and it seems bizarre for people to pay so much to go to something so simple. especially since they can apparently get into bars with fake ID in beacon hills? i've been to parties that maybe cost ALMOST that much, but they'd have a ton of performers or burlesque or whatever, not just... a huge hall with a dj in it.

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  14. haha, thank you!! :D

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  15. THANK YOU BINA. TEEN WOLF ITSELF IS A FRESH BREATH OF TRUTH & BEAUTY, AND STILES/DYLAN O'BRIEN IS MY MUSE, OF COURSE. :DDD

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  16. omg, that is indeed a tragedy! YOU COULD HAVE MET HIM. he seems adorable & amazingly unaware of his stunning handsomeness, which is pretty impressive.

    i'm so glad this primer has already persuaded someone to watch teen wolf! awesome! :DDD

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  17. T E E N W O L F

    it is perfection.

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  18. PLZ OBVIOUSLY YOU SHOULD JUST TURN THE LAPTOP AROUND & MAKE THEM WATCH TEEN WOLF & THEN THEY'LL JUDGE YOU *POSITIVELY* FOR INTRODUCING THEM TO SUCH A TREMENDOUS WORK OF ART???

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  19. woops! changed!

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  20. i ~heard~ that her publicist tried to put it across that she's 20, but imdb said 27 so it fell thru?? haha this information is so unreliable...

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  21. YESSS, HOPEFULLY THEY'LL ALL WATCH TEEN WOLF. :))

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  22. yesss, thank you!! :D

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  23. yes!!!, thank you. :D

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  24. Lol this review is awesome, I love your description of the show and characters

    Although to be fair abou the realism part, in high school I used to have to pay $100 to get into raves in my area

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  25. A+1K, HAVE read again a good ten times already. :D *still laughing*

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  26. Your comparisons to Harry Potter are the best thing ever. I agree with everything, especially with what you said about Dylan/Stiles, he's pretty much the reason I got hooked on the show and now I love everything and everyone. (most of the time)

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  27. I don't think Colton Haynes was almost cast as Edward Cullen, it was Tyler Hoechlin.. Correct me if I'm wrong..

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  28. This was so much fun to read. Though I have caught up with the show already, I will gladly refer this to my friend who is still on the fence about watching it. (For some reason me saying "It has Dylan O'Brien in it" just does not cut it with her... Strange, I know, I worry about her a lot).


    One thing, about the realism, I LOVE it when they talk in class, like completely openly about EVERYTHING and NOONE hears a peep. I don't know how classrooms work nowadays (it's been a while since I stepped foot into a high school, thankfully), but if we had conversed like that in class back when I was in high school a, the teacher would have called us out b, EVERYONE would have heard what we were talking about. And don't even get me started on the cafeteria...

    Still laughing about the potato things, btw XD

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  29. Last rave I went to, in San Francisco, was like $25. The last expensive "rave" was for halloween which was $75 but since it was a holiday and had performances and was the city's largest party, that's also different. Charging more than that is ridic unless it's a full performance. And concert-like "raves" don't count. If you are bringing in a world famous DJ, that's a show, not a rave.


    I feel really sad for kids if the typical warehouse raves are that expensive. How in the world will you afford the drugs that make going to the rave worthwhile after that cover price?

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  30. Oh my gosh I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard reading this. You totally rock! I love it!

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  31. I really do love this show and all the characters on it so much. <3 My favorite WTF is the ~mysterious subway car in an abandoned warehouse (or is it a basement?)~ that Derek lives in now. Why does Beacon Hill even have a freaking subway? I thought it was supposed to be a small town. I thought it might get explained away on the show somehow, but apparently we are just supposed to roll with it. :D

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  32. I just wanted to thank you for this awesome review. As someone who has been obsessed with this show for far too long, it made me swell with "MAMA PROUD" feelings while nodding feverishly, and also had me giggling delightfully every couple of seconds. Hats off to you!

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  33. You are just amazing for writing this out. I can't even count how many times I giggled or nodded along voraciously while reading this.


    As for Beacon Hills... well, I think of it kind of like I think of the university campus on Greek. It was supposed to be in Ohio, but the show filmed in California, so it was always sunny and summery. And then, at some point, characters on the show made a few jokes about how it's weirdly nice all year for it being Ohio.


    Actually, I wish Teen Wolf would do that. Make some jokes about how dangerous the town is.

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  34. Jeff Davis the creator of our fandom who keeps throwing out Sterek hints retweeted this. This is totally awesome. I absolutely loved it.

    I'm curious as to how you didn't bring up the whole 'pack mom'!Stiles thing going on. But I guess it is spoilerly due to it popped up on Raving toward the end.

    The rave price is a little high, but it's on par with the good ones. Some raves are or were free. Others are planned entertainment in abandoned places. Considering this takes place in Cali, it might be on par.

    As for the bodies... It depends. At the beginning of season 2, the funeral of Kate Argent was tabloid newscover. These new ones are a little different. I don't think the cops know about the dead hunter. So all they have is Isaac's dad, the poor couple, and now the event planner.

    Depending on where you live...bodies dropping that often may or may not be big news. Depends on drug crimes. I live in a smaller town than Beacon Hills and murders are rare but we still get about 10 a year due to drug crimes and so forth. Not to mention the cops aren't going to broadcast the crimes are similar until they are forced to by the media.

    And I don't think the homophobia is non-existent in the 'verse. I just think that because it's in California that they are more open and accepting and anti-bullying on it.

    What I find troubling is that Peter Hale is less scary than Victoria Argent. I guess it's like the old OoTP situation in which Umbitch was more scary than Voldemort. Kate Argent was a piece of work too.

    Loved the piece.

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  35. You totally killed the review with the 50 Shades reference. Though I'm already a fan of the show, that would make your opinion void tbh. Here. Read this and understand why it's such a dangerous book: http://anyankaleigh.tumblr.com/post/26044950711/fifty-things-wrong-with-fifty-shades-of-grey

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  36. IAWTC about the raving price. Don't forget that it's also a concert with a real DJ who needs to make money. Plus they'd need that money to pay for the venue - and since no one made a big deal about there being a party in an abandoned building, it seems as though they had permits.

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  37. i'm actually aware of these issues with regards to 50 shades of grey, and agree that it would be a terrible idea to emulate the relationship from the book in real life. i'm not a 50 Shades fan or reader -- the mention in this post was just a joke because i've seen so many people arguing about "perfect casting" for the movie and i thought readers would understand the throwaway reference. i'm sorry if this reference ruined your enjoyment of the review, but you should know that i don't actually think 50 Shades is a good book OR that its characters are, you know, role models. but i also wouldn't condemn people just for reading it.

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  38. haha, not enough time to fit everything in! i'm sure "pack mom!stiles" will show up in later reviews...

    i was super psyched to see that jeff davis tweeted this! :)

    maybe teen wolf will start tackling the crime-rate the way Buffy The Vampire Slayer did? like, casual mentions, like it's the town's gallows-humour in-joke?

    jeff davis explicitly said that he wrote there to be NO homophobia in the show, so i'm taking that as read, tho.

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  39. i think "rave" must mean a different thing in america to what i classify as a rave, because to me it's a semi-legal operation that takes place in a field or abandoned building, and is either free or costs under £10 to get into because it has little to no security and is "unofficial". the idea of a "rave" costing $75-$100 blows my mind because it just doesn't seem worth it for a party where you are ONLY paying to listen to a (presumably non-famous) DJ in a warehouse, even if it IS a "venue" warehouse as opposed to being abandoned.

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  40. thank you! :DD and beacon hills is also a bit like Sunnydale from Buffy the vampire slayer, don't you think?

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  41. thank you!! :) glad you enjoyed it.

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  42. i can't believe i'd never thought about that before!! WHY A SUBWAY CAR. honestly it's super unclear how big the town even is, though. sometimes it seems pretty big, but others it's almost as if it's smalltown american (particularly since there's all this forest, like... everywhere...)

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  43. oh my gosh, yes, the classroom stuff. altho things like that i can overlook on TV in the interests of dialogue actually taking place, because otherwise they'd never get anything done.

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  44. i've got several comments about this rave stuff now, and it's blowing my mind!! what did $100 pay for?? i'm british and to me, a rave is a dubiously-legal dance party in an abandoned building or field, costing either nothing (because most people will inevitably be gatecrashers for an "unofficial" party like this) or a small sum like £5 to contribute to whoever brought the sound equipment. $100 seems like a ridiculous markup for a party that's basically just a DJ in a building!

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  45. I feel like I should point out that Tyler Hoechlin was *also up for Edward Cullen. So. You know. *hands*

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  46. I'm not sure about Crystal's age. I saw what IMDB said, but I think Crystal's 24. And I think so myself, not just 'cause Wikipedia said so.

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  47. This is wonderful - I love your writing and it sums up exactly how I feel about Teen Wolf after finding it myself in the last month. I'm far too really to be watching it (!god who cares, age is just a number) but now I'll be sending everyone I know a link to your blog. (Converts: 1 so far, more to come I hope!) Magic - made my day. Thank you :)

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  48. This is wonderful - I love your writing and it sums up exactly how I feel about Teen Wolf after finding it myself in the last month. I'm far too really to be watching it (!god who cares, age is just a number) but now I'll be sending everyone I know a link to your blog. (Converts: 1 so far, more to come I hope!) Magic - made my day. Thank you :) [posted twice as I'm old therefore also very crap at this! sorry :)}

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  49. schritttempo23 July 2012 10:58

    Awesome and most accurate! And thank you so much for the "Cruella de Ville - Velociraptor" insight because I could never really put my finger on just 2 main characteristics but those two? ARE A PERFECT MATCH! ♥

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  50. i think the show would be better if danny were a main character. this show lacks lgbt and poc representation in the main cast..

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  51. My only complaint on this is that Crystal Reed, the actress who plays Allison, is either 23 or 20 (google is giving me inconsistant years of birth), but not 27. Other than that, this is an amazing little article.

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  52. She's definitely 27, there are a lot of fake ages out there to cover it up, but she graduated high school in 2003 and was doing college theatre in 2004.
    Sources: Her high school graduation announcement:

    http://www.rcs.misd.net/School%20Days/SchoolDays_Jun03.pdf



    Some theater stuff she did as an undergraduate at Wayne State:

    http://media.wayne.edu/2004/11/22/the-historic-bonstelle-theatre-presents-the-heart-warming-classic-anne-of-green-gables

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  53. seriously?? HAHA THAT IS AMAZING. HE'D HAVE BEEN PERFECT!

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  54. thank you!! :) well, what is "too old" to be watching teen wolf? PFFFT.

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  55. this is absolutely true. but i think danny and boyd are both gonna get more screentime in the future. right now there's a wider cast unfolding around the main core cast, and they'll probably all be shuffled around for more screentime until some are killed off and/or the writers work out which are the most important and popular with audiences.

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  56. Essentially the same thing, but sometimes it would be in the huge arenas downtown as an all ages show (those go for $100+)

    It used to make me rage because everyone would save up to go but it cost me like 1/2 my crappy part time pycheck lol

    Aka. Vancouver is ridiculously expensive, I might as well pay the city to breather the air

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  57. hello
    i love you
    this is amazing.
    you are amazing.
    i want your adopted babies.

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  58. The review had me laughing and in tears throughout the entire show. It was absolutely astounding and hilarious and describes my feeling for all the characters and their stories perfectly. A little bit of back story for these guys, though, in case you didn't know. Tyler Hoechlin was on the popular drama (was it a drama? I guess it was) 7th Heaven. It took me forever to remember him but yeah, he got a girl knocked up, then the girl said it wasn't his AFTER the baby was born and been born for a while, he tries to win the heart Ruthie, the youngest of the 7th Heaven family and loses her to a guy named T-Bone....
    And Tyler Posey, when he was young (like really young, he was probably 10) he did a movie with Jennifer Lopez and Ralph Fiennes called Maid in Manhattan, where he plays the politically savvy but shy son of Lopez. He pretty much hooks J Lo and Voldemort up using his cute face and rather unrealistic knowledge of early 2000's politics. Ahh how time flies.

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  59. I actually keep waiting for Stiles to make a Hellmouth reference! lol

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  60. Does any one know what Derek lives on? I mean, he's supposed to be an orphan, he doesn't go to school, he doesn't have a job. He rides an awesome car but doesn't appear to have a home, apart from his family's burned down house. Where's the money coming from, and where is Social Service?

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  61. well, regarding social services, i doubt they give a crap because he's like 24, and when he was originally orphaned his older sister took care of him, i think. it's never really been explained where he's living, but maybe he paid for the car using life-insurance money from his family?

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  62. I'm from california and, while I haven't seen the show, I can say that small towns in CA can be just as homophobic as everywhere else. It's just the bigger cities where people don't care as much.

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  63. I laughed SO HARD. I love this show and this is all SO TRUE.

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  64. You are awesome. My favourite part without a doubt "
    If you watch Teen Wolf, you love Stiles. If you don't watch Teen Wolf, you are merely living through a brief period of confusion prior to the inevitability of falling in love with Stiles. " Amen.

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  65. EXTREMELY ACCURATE

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  66. I'm converting right now my friends to the show thanks to your primer. Fantastic, hilarious review, I can't stop laughing at the sudden changes of register in the same sentence, like ' a lonesome werewolf whose main hobbies are
    shirtlessness' - you're a master of crack!

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  67. This is awesome, I loved it. I rolled with laugther and I haven't even seen teen wolf. My only question is... How is Torchwood full of "queer themes but are still riddled with "issues episodes" and homophobia-based conflict"? I can't seem to remember many issue episodes concerning the queer thing...

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  68. Oh my god... That's where I knew Tyler from, I was wondering... *crying*
    But... 10? Is that movie really that old already? Oh my god...

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  69. This post was amazingsauce! XD

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  70. Actually, Tyler Hoechlin was offered the role of Emmett but turned it down to play baseball (he was considering going pro).

    http://hollywoodlife.com/2011/05/31/teen-wolf-mtv-tyler-posey-twilight-taylor-lautner-tyler-hoechlin/

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  71. LOVE this post. It convinced me to watch, and of course, I'm now thoroughly doomed. Also, Scott is forever a potato. And as such, this was born: http://twitpic.com/an8w4r Thanks for the lulz and giving me something else to destroy my life with.

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  72. I find it offensive that you called Scott a potato. Ok, so he's not as book-smart as some other characters, but given the fact he's a 16 year old boy dealing with the fact that he was bitten against his will by a werewolf (thanks again Peter -.-), yeah, he does pretty alright. He wants to be a n ordinary boy again, is that so much? And Stiles being the heart of the show, I do disagree, it's Scott who tries his best to protect those he cares and loves. He isn't a potato, it's not an endearing comment. Did you know that people called those with Down's Syndrome potato, as a cruel joke?


    Telling people to skip the first few episodes isn't good advice either. Watching the entire series is the only way to get a good judge on the show.

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  73. I am very sure the writer doesn't say that Stiles is the heart of the show but they do say that Stiles is the emotional heart of the show, which i am very agree with, cause from all characters Stiles, (besides Jackson) is the only character that has a lot of emotional twist that is shown not only for the love of his life but also to his family, friends, and all of people. Whilst Scott's reason in most of his "saving the town" adventure is to protect ALLISON, and he's pretty much a potato when he's with Allison. And Stiles, Derek, Allison, and [sometimes] Dr. Deaton are actually the gang who makes the plan on how saving the town and Scott is the one to finish it, but he's not capable to make the plan himself.

    And please stay true on the subject, the moderator is clearly talking about Teen Wolf, not making fun of mentally disabled people. And potato is already a pretty common word to use on the internet universe and it doesn't have anything to do with Down Syndrome's patient [although idk what happens in your side of world].

    And although the show IS about Scott's life, Stiles will always be the most loved and adored character, by the fans of the show.

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  74. Great intro - I'm saving the link so I can direct people here if they say "what the hell is this Teen Wolf" you keep talking about.


    I'm way above the age of the target demographic for this show, but awesomeness (and cute guys with their shirts off) transcend demographics. I've only seen season 1 so far - though am thoroughly spoilered for season 2 and DYING to get hold of it. I especially can't wait to see Derek making a total pig's ear out of being the whole alpha of the pack thing. I love Derek, but also love characters who screw up even with the best of intentions.


    And of course I love Stiles. Like you say, he's the heart of the show, and Dylan O'Brien should indeed go on to be a highly acclaimed actor based on how good he is already.

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  75. This might be the perfect place to voice my complaint. SPOILER WARNING!!!

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  76. believe me, this is a ~~big deal~~ in teen wolf fandom. lots of people want dylan o'brien to take his shirt off, but i think he's (understandably) uncomfortable with the attention and has so far declined? i'm pretty sure he gets asked A LOT about if he's going to have a shirtless scene in the next season...

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  77. Thanks for the info. It hadn't occurred to me that HE was the one who would be saying no. He's aware of our adulation, right? Ooh, maybe he's sparing us all, knowing that we'd implode if we ever did get to see him shirtless. :D

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