Menswear Fashion Week and the Zoolander Effect.

It's MENSWEAR FASHION WEEK! Thanks, London, for making Menswear Fashion Week into a thing that exists in real life! (Note to new readers: I love menswear. More detail on that later.)

Christopher Shannon
So, I freely admit that I hate all coverage of "trends", but I'm already starting to notice that at Menswear Fashion Week, bright pink clothes are what I believe is generally known as A Thing. There is a lot of bright pink going on, is what I am saying. I think I can get behind pink shoes as A Thing for men to use to liven up their otherwise boring-ass wardrobes, but something tells me that the pink skirts-made-from-ties are not as likely to catch on.

Whenever I post about menswear I get people commenting all, "LOLLLL, that outfit is so terrible. What were they thinking??" which, you know, is sometimes a good point? But not always. Because when we look at menswear and think "LOLLLL", we're experiencing what I call the Zoolander Effect. In the (awesome) movie Zoolander, the main source of comedy is the idea that the fashion industry is ridiculous, and that the male-oriented fashion industry is extra-ridiculous. I mean, could you make a similar movie about a female supermodel? No! Because even though every womenswear trend in existence is objectively preposterous, we’re so used to it that we don’t even notice any more! Whereas when a man makes a living by looking sexy or outrageous, he's a clown.

I suspect that I'm going to be having this argument forever, but I must persevere because somebody has to take on the heroic task of explaining to people that they're being sexist idiots. The TL;DR version is that there is nothing intrinsically ridiculous about men dressing up. Although there is something intrinsically ridiculous about wearing a cape made from ties. Sorry, Christopher Shannon. Your model looks like he's wearing a rag mop.

E. Tautz
I luv this guy because he looks so serious and Oxbridge with his side-parted edwardian hair and PINK CAPE.

The title of this show was "School Colours For Cricket", which is a reference to an anecdote that combines imperialism, awful posh people, and testicles -- three of Britain's favourite sources of conflict and/or comedy! /o\

James Long
The quantity of baggy, belted long-shorts at Menswear Fashion Week was distressing. Especially when combined with this type of sleeveless '80s shirt.

Jonathan Saunders
What do I love about this collection? Only EVERYTHING! Sharp suits, sharp styling, slightly dangerous-looking men who may or may not be The Corinthian from the Sandman comics...!!

Jonathan Saunders really knows how to use colour. There was a whole rainbow of fruit-smoothie bright colours in this collection, but they're used in such a way that no one could suggest that they look over-the-top.

From Jonathan Saunders' "hot serial-killer" line.

J. W. Anderson
More pink! What did I say?

It's OK, you're allowed to laugh at these outfits. That isn't the Zoolander Effect in action. They might look a bit more ridiculous to our eyes because they're being modeled by men, but these outfits are really... not very good.

Honestly, I think I've already seen this all-sweaters-all-the-time outfit in one of those "Look at these hilarious 1970s fashion catalogues!" blogs.

For anyone wondering what man is likely to wear a sheer shirt-dress with boxers on underneath, the answer is Marc Jacobs, who totally wore one in real life for realsies earlier this month.

Sibling
Terrible. '80s tracksuits mixed with cheap public-transport-upholstery colour schemes? And some kind of... mask thing...? IDEK.

For some reason there are a few menswear designers who really love making all the models wear masks and/or headdresses. I have no idea why. Perhaps they think it upgrades an outfit from "that's kinda bad" to "... but maybe it's ART"?