Character 1: I just had a really terrible idea.
Character 2: Great! Let's do it!
-- Teen WolfOn the bright side, this episode showed us that most of Teen Wolf's main characters are learning from past mistakes. I say "bright side" because as always, everything in Beacon Hills is terrible.
SHANTAL RHODES. Shantal is living the good life, somehow managing to go to teen parties in Beacon Hills and not get involved in any werewolf gang wars. I think she must go to the "other school" (the source of Stiles' new love-interest, Heather), which is presumably where all the human, relatively teenage-looking teens hang out. Anyhow, she and Heather are awesome, and have one of those rare teen TV show sex talks that bridges the gap between "ridiculous sex fantasy" and "actually kinda realistic".
I'm pretty excited that we get to see Derek's new loft in this episode. Despite the fact that it's ostensibly an actual apartment with furniture and running water and everything, it's almost less realistic than when he was living in the burnt-out shell of his family home, or on the mysterious (but similarly charred) subway-car-without-a-subway. Continuing with Beacon Hills' ability to simultaneously be a sleepy Californian town and a sprawling haven of urban menace and a dangerous supernatural forest, Derek's loft looks like it's located in either Gotham City or a post-apocalyptic steampunk video game.
Later in the episode Peter Hale makes fun of Stiles for assuming he lives in an underground werewolf cavern rather than "an apartment downtown, duhhh", but honestly, is that even fair? Especially since in this very episode, we learn that the Alpha Pack are chillaxing in an abandoned bank vault made from inexplicable werewolf kryptonite, with a corpse propped up in the corner. Also, Peter, if you're gonna try to raise the profile of werewolves are normal people, getting an apartment is the least of your worries. Maybe try to stop kidnapping innocent teenagers, or seeming 100% Hannibal Lecter whenever you talk to anyone.
That being said: gotta love Peter Hale. When he strolls into Derek's inconceivably gigantic aircraft hangar of a loft apartment, he's accompanied by an instantaneous KAPOW of guitar riffs. I'm pretty sure that's the actual real sound he makes when he walks into a room. "Boys," he smirks, flinging his leather jacket onto Derek's steampunk hat-stand. "What the Hale is going on here? Don't all take your shirts off at once." (Side note: what happens when Peter Hale and Deucalion inevitably meet? Do two become one??)
Back at school, Scott and Stiles are attending METAPHOR CLASS. The three classes we always see in teen TV shows are as follows: 1) that one bio class where you have to dissect a frog, 2) analysing a novel that has huge significance to the show's plot and the emotional journey of the main characters, and 3) nonspecific metaphor class -- in this case a business lesson where Scott has to decide between hard work or taking the easy road. The most important thing here is that the class is taught by Finstock, ie Jeff Davis' crowning glory when it comes to totally fuckin' weird side-characters. Meanwhile in the library, 27-year-old high school juniors Allison and Lydia are checking out two 23-year-old high school freshmen. Also, in a moment of stark realism, Allison uses a butcher's apostrophe when looking up a Mysterious Symbol Clue. Luckily she isn't using Google, so at least the NSA won't know about it.
This week on Deaton's Puppy Sanctuary for Troubled Teens, he decided to reenact the scene from Inception where Leonardo DiCaprio bursts out of a bathtub full of water. Except instead of using a PASIV device to access Isaac's memories, they're just gonna refrigerate him like a giant margarita until he goes into a "trancelike state". On the bright side, Isaac is a pre-Raphaelite beauty, so he looks great while they're doing it. If you plopped me into a bucket of ice water, I'd probably turn bright purple and then throw up on your shoes. Isaac Lahey, however, has creamy skin, inch-long eyelashes, and generally looks like a cherub. Additionally, we're now two-for-two on scenes where Isaac is in agonising pain for no good reason. Teen Wolf knows its audience, and Isaac Lahey turns most of us into serial killers, whispering "You're beautiful when you cry" into one of his pale, shell-like ears. (BRB, going to jail.)
- Ms Morrell is hanging out with Deucalion?? Is she undercover?? I DON'T KNOW IF I EVEN CARE ABOUT THIS. There are so many characters now that I barely even recognised her when she first came onscreen. Same with Cora, who I briefly mistook for Allison. This is the eternal Teen Wolf problem: everyone is so good-looking and symmetrical that sometimes I can't actually tell them apart. Whatever happens, I'm still holding out for the big reveal that she's still Kendra the Vampire Slayer, and The Girl from 3x01 is her apprentice.
- I can only assume that the Celtic knotwork symbol on Allison's coffee cup will come back to haunt us. Everything is a symbol!! Everything is meaningful!! Beacon Hills' Generic Starbucks knock-off is a haven for demonic forces!!
- Someone needs to make a montage of all the times the camera swoops down to hip level for a shot of a character revealing their Werewolf Manicure.
- I saw a great Tumblr theory that all the school-age characters who look 25 (DANNY) are actually undercover cops. Now I'm imagining a Danny/Ethan relaysh like Maebe's love-interest in the new season of Arrested Development, where she thinks she's dating an undercover cop in a highschool, but really he's just an over-developed 16-year-old. You know you want it, Internet.